Raising Christian Military Kids

Eyes Of Innocence and Wonder

2008-11-06T15:47:00.000-08:00

by Dwight Turner

In "Thoughts on Reverence and Wonder: The Eyes of a Child," I talked about my soon to be four-year-old daughter, Salina. I am always amazed at how she sees the world in all its glory, the way God intended it to be seen, and responds without any sense of guile or bewilderment. Just yesterday we stopped the car along a rural lane near our home to watch a group of wild geese circle a field, then land in a large pond. My daughter's eyes grew wide as she saw these birds gracefully glide almost silently on to the surface of the water. She sat there spellbound as she quietly took in this aspect of God's remarkable world.

My grandfather was in many ways my first spiritual director. Working as a game warden, a career that my father also pursued, he spent most of his time in natural settings and he had this uncanny ability to see the intricate and interconnected patterns that were everywhere to be witnessed if a person only had "eyes to see." My grandfather often said that it was important to see each new day with what he called "fresh eyes." A deeply spiritual man, he rarely attended the Baptist Church where my grandmother was an active member. Instead, he often went off into the woods of north Alabama with one of us grandkids in tow, giving us his own version of Sunday School.

I don't say this to discount the importance of church-going, only to say that, for my grandfather, it was not a high priority. Coming from a family with a long tradition of Quakerism, my grandfather treasured silence and solitude and often told me that my "inner light" could best be seen on a calm lake or pristine mountaintop. According to my grandfather, the best way to rediscover my "fresh eyes" was to go into nature and go into "the sacred silence," then just notice what was going on around me. Yesterday, as I watched Salina as she "noticed" the geese as they went about their business, I understood deeply that she had "fresh eyes" and that most children possessed this significant talent, at least until they were educated out of it.

I also understood why my grandfather never said I needed to develop fresh eyes; he always said I needed to rediscover them. The childlike perspective of awe and wonder that we all possessed when we were young is still there. Our task, with the divine assistance of the Holy Spirit, is to go through the cognitive clutter we have all accumulated and find it once again.

On the way home I also recalled a passage from a remarkable little book, written by Jeanne Gowen Dennis. The book is entitled, Running Barefoot on Holy Ground and subtitled, Childlike Intimacy With God. A fine and educative book, "Running Barefoot" discusses the notion of having fresh eyes. Let's listen to the author:

"Why do children notice so many things that adults miss? Maybe being closer to the ground gives them an advantage. Perhaps it's because they're discovering the wonders of the world around them for the first, second, or twentieth time, and somehow the novelty has not yet worn off. Unlike most adults, little children also pay attention to details. We are so distracted by our responsibilities that we often miss what is right before us. Perhaps we should take regular walks with toddlers and let them lead us along. Still, we'll only learn to see through their eyes if we use the time to exercise our sight, not just our bodies."

Having Salina around has been a blessing in many wonderful ways, but one of the most beneficial spiritual lessons she has brought my way is helping me rediscover my fresh eyes helping me learn to see again. She has in some magnificent manner taught me the spiritual discipline of "noticing." For example, there was the time she looked into a clear night sky at a quarter-moon and said, "Look, it's just like my fingernail," or the occasion when she sat in wondrous rapture watching three butterflies flitting about on our back deck. As the two of us "noticed" the choreography of their airborne dance, I became aware that I was, for a few brief moments, actually seeing what was going on. It was, in a word, exhilarating.

All of this comes natural to children, but we adults must now somehow train ourselves to be open to the marvels God parades before us on a daily basis. It not only involves "slowing down to smell the roses," no it goes much deeper than that. In my experience, I have had to learn to live in my body again; allowing myself enough time to become reacquainted with my five basis senses and perhaps discover a few I didn't know, or more likely forgot, that I even had. In order to see like a child, I needed to rediscover how to experience life in the pristine clarity of the moment unsullied by morbid memories or future fears.

I not only needed to learn how to see I needed to learn how to be.

A good way to begin this process of rediscovery is by learning to pay attention to what is coming in through your senses. Pick on of your senses, say hearing, and go outside and just spend five minutes paying attention to what you hear the birds chirping in the trees, a distant plane overhead, a passing truck on the Interstate two miles away. Don't strain to do this; simply allow the sounds to come in and just notice them. Just allow them to be what they are and just allow yourself to just be. I have found it useful to spend about three days on each one of my senses and to keep a journal of my experiences. I record what I noticed and also what prevented me from being present to my surroundings. For me, as well as others I have taught to use this exercise, let the sense of vision be the last one you focus on. I can't explain why this seems to be the best way to do this, all I can say is, for the majority of people, it works best that way.

In conclusion, let me suggest one other thing that might seem a bit silly to you. You may, in fact, think this is childish. Yet, when you think about it, that's the whole point, isn't it. Try doing things the way a young child does them. Experiment with your body and your posture. What do I mean? I'll close with this quotation, again from Dennis' book:

"To see as children see, all our senses must be alert. New worlds open up when children exercise their power of sight. They see with fresh eyes fully, simply, and in intricate detail. Young children experience each new discovery to the fullest, first with their mouths, then with their hands and fingers, and finally with their whole beings. They "see" with all their senses and in every possible position: on their knees, on their stomachs, on their backs, upside down, backward, and sideways. They explore the world with eyes wide open, closed, or squinted; through drinking glasses or cellophane; from inside cabinets, under coffee tables, and even in mirrors."

If you apply these ideas you may, like my daughter Salina and the great poet William Blake, discover (rediscover) that you "hold infinity in the palm of your hand."

Dwight Turner is founder of LifeBrook International, a ministry which produces and publishes web content on a variety of faith-based themes. LifeBrook International may be viewed at:

http://lifebrook.wordpress.com

All material: (c) L.D. Turner/All Rights Reserved

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS

The little things

2008-09-10T12:09:00.001-07:00

I was thinking today about what I could write for this blog and God brought to mind an experience I had earlier last week. I had been so frustrated with my hair since we have moved here. We have humidity that is more than anything I have ever dealt with and I have naturally curly hair that does go crazy in humidity. I felt like I was going to have to just go and get it all shaved off because I would go and wash it and have it look nice until I went outside to get in the car and I faced the weather for the day. I didn't like feeling so icky after I had taken the time to try and look nice and feel good before going about the day and being around other people. I finally realized that I needed to be praying about this. I thought it was really something that wasn't a big deal over some other things I needed to pray about, but I was getting frustrated enough that it didn't seem like there was anything else I could do at this point. I took this to God and he fixed it! Yes, he fixed it! You can not believe how happy I was to have this fixed. God brought to mind little ways I could make changes in the way I do my hair with products I already had. I didn't even have to go by any new products.

This reminded me that when I take the little things to God, He cares about those things too. He cares about these little things because He cares about us. He cares about the things that matter to us and the things that make us happy or sad, we matter that much to Him.

So then, I have tried to think about how this experience can affect another area of my life and help me in another area. I realize that as a mom, I am the most important human, earthly influence on my child, so I have to remember that even the very smallest things matter so very much to our children. Yes, I might be tired and worn out some days as most moms get, but the little things I do that day to help him feel loved and cared for make all of the difference in the world to him. I have been more aware of my son's need for me to notice the little things that are important to him when I realize and remember that God cares about all of our little details.

This is the Time

2008-07-25T18:06:00.001-07:00

As I sat here listening to the song from Micheal W. Smith called " This is the Time" I thought about the last 2 years and the 18 months of the 2 years that we've been without my husband in the home.
The time my daughter needed her father for a father/ daughter dance for her senior year in high school. the time my son micah needed his dad to teach him how to march and salute for his Civil Air Patrol squadron and the time my youngest needed his dad to show him how to hit a ball with a bat. Things normal dads can be there for, many of our men miss.
I can go through the list of missed things over the years, but This is the Time! The time my husband's home and enjoy's my kids life, teaches my son finally how to march, dance's with my daughter in the middle of the living room with it all dolled up like a dance floor just for her. And just last night my husband out showing my little Elijah how to hit a ball. This is the Time! for my children to soak up their time with dad.
As military families sometimes it seems that time between is so little. We must look at the time we do have, rejoice in what is given and use what we got. Our kids learn what life is about, and how important family is by the way we use the time that is given when the service member is home.
So if your waiting for your husband again, or sitting right next to him at this very moment. Use every moment as if it was the last. Use every moment as a precious gift from God. Don't waste it on arguing and fussing at each other. Allow the time to be used toward growth as a family, toward love to each other and toward time not wasted. THIS IS THE TIME...

Summertime Blues

2008-07-10T19:36:00.000-07:00

By: Stephanie

So I know that summertime is intended to be full of easy days filled with fun. So why do I feel like I'm barely treading water.

I was thinking today that beside holidays, summer is probably the worst time for families during a deployment. There isn't the structure and busy-ness of school to keep everyone occupied. The days are definitely longer making it harder to keep little ones entertained. My dearest friend and I were discussing things that help keep kids happy and in return moms are happier too.

Summertime fun activites:
1. Take a walk. Take this time to reflect on God's creation. Talk to your kids about the things they see and hear.

2. Take a trip to the community pool or let the kids play in the sprinkler! This is always a big way to keep your children happy. (Not to mention, it's good at wearing them out!)

3. Visit your local library. Most libraries have summer reading programs with rewards. Even if your local library doesn't offer these type of programs, what's to say you can't offer your children rewards for reading!

4. Plan a special outing once a week. It could be to the park or even to their favorite fast food restaurant (with a playland, of course). Anything to get them out of the house into different surroundings is always nice. Kids get cabin fever, too!

5. Encourage playdates. Call up a friend and see if they would like to come over for coffee and let the children play. Not only does it give the kids someone different to play with, you have someone with whom to have an adult conversation. We all NEED that!!

I think it is very important not to wish away the summer (I am very guilty of that)! There is this song that I love. Some of the lyrics say, "Let them be little, 'cause there only that way for a while." That is so true. We need to enjoy our kids' summers because it won't be long before they are too old to want to be with us or are completely out of the house. Summertime doesn't have to be dreaded. It can and should be ENJOYED!

Happy Summer!!

Our children learn from us

2008-06-09T14:00:00.000-07:00

Some of you know that I have recently started to read and do the study by Stormie Omartian; Power of a Praying Parent. I have been working on it for about 3 weeks now and God has been showing me what to work on in my life and also in how I raise Corey. What I am teaching him and the example I am setting for him and the habits I teach him that will make an impact on the rest of his life.

I was raised in a Christian family, we went to church on Sundays and we prayed at home, but we didn't have daily habits of reading the bible and doing devotions or a study of any kind. I have worked on and off in my adult life to try to focus on daily habits of this nature at home, but it has been challenging as a parent to do this sometimes. There are always distractions, if I let them be there.

God began to point out to me that I need to be daily working with Corey on a his bible and praying with him more than I currently do. I prayed that God would give me the push to do this daily with Corey in addition to daily doing my own time with God. I realize if I would have had this when I was a young child, I would have the habits already set in me from a young age. Instead, I struggle as an adult to stick to the daily time with God. So now I know that it is extremly important to help Corey set his habits now for his future when he will make his own choices when he is older.

I prayed about how I should be going about doing this with Corey so it would be successful and something that he would also gets in a habit of doing and want to do. So we have started to think outside of the box! Today we had a lot of fun with Corey's bible story! He brought me his guitar - it is a First Act guitar and it is for learning to play, but I have no musical ability -lol. I already knew that this would be fun even with my horrible singing and lack of guitar playing abilities. But it is beautiful music to the Lord because we are singing for Him and about Him. Corey also loves music, so it was great fun in that aspect too. I already had Corey's bible, so I sang the whole bible story and played the guitar while doing it. Corey was so excited and we talked and sang about the story afterwards.

I look forward to more fun learning adventures with Corey. I find I learned something from it too and there is great joy that comes from helping our children learn about God.

Some more ideas of what we do; singing songs about Jesus while he is taking a bath, doing our songs with sign language when he is swinging at the playground, take him on a prayer walk and teaching him how to pray for what he sees around him and thanking God for the pretty trees and the birds that are singing, etc.

I challenge you to start working daily with your children on reading their bibles and praying and thinking outside of the box!

The First Year...

2008-04-29T13:20:00.000-07:00

My daughter just turned one at the beginning of April and of course I woke up and cried, all because my baby girl is growing up sooo fast. I keep asking my husband, "Does she ever have to grow up?" He replies, "Of course she has to!" I know that it may be a silly question, but it is very sad!

The day after my daughters' birthday she began sleeping in her own crib and her own room. I am soo happy that she began sleeping in her own room because we both sleep better! Even though I miss all of the cuddling time it is time for to gain a little independence. Hehe...

The first year of her life has flown by for me and I just hope that the next 18+ years do not go by as fast. It is such a precious experience to bring another life into this world, to watch them change day by day, and to witness all of their accomplishments.

Enjoy your children ladies!!!

What’s in a Name?

2008-04-22T01:25:00.001-07:00

By Colleen

I’m going to delve a little into my past on this one, and it may be a bit long but stick with me here, I think it may be worth reading.

I often tell people either Jesus is real or I am not. See I am from a family who I suppose meant well but by most people’s standards I was a doomed child. Alcoholic parents, from alcoholic parents, my father quit school in 9th grade and never made a lot of money (even though he was a chef) and my mother left when the 4 kids were entering their teen years. Shortly after my sister died and from there it just goes on and on and on……

Sounds like a really bad Lifetime movie or something doesn’t it? Truthfully, it was worse being one of it’s stars, trust me on this. Our family was not exactly the best in the neighborhood. We moved a lot and my older brother was always in trouble. I started drinking with him by the age of 12 and the world had a lot of names for a kid like me from a family like mine who lived a life like I did. Trash? No good? Worthless?

When I ended up pregnant at 17 and married I am sure it just cemented that opinion in the eyes of the world. A statistic waiting to happen? Teen Mom? Slut? Tramp? You get the picture; harsh yes but lets be real here, there is a reason these things are said, because statistically they do happen to lump together for the most part and I was doing a bang up job of living up to the these expectations.

When my husband moved me to our first duty station in Kansas, I was completely unaware it would be to find my salvation. It was while he was away for the Gulf War I was saved watching the 700 Club in the middle of the night.

It took some time, but eventually I did develop a walk and a relationship with the Lord and it made such a difference. I began through the reading of scriptures to understand I was a NEW creation, no longer those old things.

However, it was not until the late 90’s when a song written by Dennis Jernigan touched my heart and really opened my eyes to what a name means. I went to the Night of Praise in Edmond OK with PWOC and he sang This is My Destiny (I really encourage you to find this if you can) and I actually bought the CD as soon as it was released.

In the song Dennis Jernigan sings the names the Lord speaks over us all through out His word. He calls us warrior, new creation, trophy of His grace, righteous, beloved, tells me he delights in me, and so on. I began to truly understand what was in the things we named upon our children.

Now, because of my past, I have never been harsh in how I spoke over my children or others for that matter but after listening to this song and yes, allowing it to bring healing to a wounded child who still lived in me, I began to truly understand those hard things we as parents speak to our children can bring harm to a childs spirit in so many ways.

It is so important that we not only speak the love of the Lord over our children but also, stop other people from speaking horrible things as well. Do I believe what we speak happens? To a degree yes. Because we plant a seed in a child’s mind that grows and allows them to believe that is what they are. When they hear they are no good, they believe it. When they hear they are difficult, then they act it because they believe they are.

So today I encourage you, speak truth, love and mercy over your children daily. Never allow another parent to speak things which will wound your child either. I am not saying have a brawl but stop it the conversation, walk away, do what it takes. Know their weaknesses and grow them but don’t allow their destiny to be what I thought mine was or what you may have thought yours was because of the careless and hurtful words planted by someone.

I will praise him in ALL THINGS

2008-03-21T00:45:00.000-07:00

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. (Psalms 30:5)”

Reading through my bible tonight, really trying to figure things out in my mind. This verse jumped out at me allowing me to see past the storms of life right now.

Last Tuesday my life was thrown into a whirlwind of emotions. My 2 youngest boys who both have Cystic Fibrosis was put into the hospital. Sick and just no energy I sat and watched them hurt. Being poked and prodded, praising God that my husband was home this time around, but crying knowing the pain my babies were going through. I wanted to scream all week long at the Dr's, nurses and the IV team that was placing my boys PICC lines. I wanted to scream STOP, I wanted to tell them this is a child you are starving while you have no idea what your doing. My emotions have been on my sleeve. But with great restraint I've tryed to really keep a Christ like attitude through it.

Our children are our world, they are a piece of God's blessing to us. When we see them hurting or wronged as mothers our backs get up and our protecting gene takes effect. Its easier for us to go on our first emotion, which would be anger, frustration,hurt, fear or even sadness. We have to purposely step back and look at the whole situation before us, view our expectations with reality. We have to allow God to be able to work in a situation that may seem overwhelming emotionally to us. In Jeremiah it says

"I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)”

I can sit back through the frustration and know My God has everything under control, Hospitals, Dr's, Nurses and even starving children. He knows and sees all. He knows what is planned for my boys, he knows what its going to take to get them to where he wants them. I have to be willing to release them and allow him to work.

So as I sit here typing this blog, my boys are in the other room on I.V.'s here at home, I think about what is left tonight to do and feel that sense of overwhelmness. But as you walk into that living room all you will see is smiling faces, laughing and hyperactivity. There is no room in their life for sadness, anger and hurt. I wish sometimes I can see things as they do, take things in stride as they do, see God's hand in all things as they do.. oh to have that faith of a child again.

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek; and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. [Matthew 7:7-8].”

SO I ask in all this as Matthew says I can do, is God's will to be done in my boys life, if its a complete healing I will praise him, if its continuing on in life like it is I will praise him, if its seeing them go to be with our father at a young age I will Praise him. God is in control and will forever be in control no matter how much we resist or fight against what is in the works of our lives or our children's lives.

Growing Up Way Too Fast

2008-03-12T12:18:00.000-07:00

By: Stephanie

I am in a reflective mood today. My oldest daughter turned 10 years old today. I cannot believe how fast this time has flown by. I remember going into the hospital to have her. I was so scared and excited at the same time. After all, I didn't know nothing about birthin' no babies! And I sure didn't know anything about raising them! I was only 22 when she was born. That was just a few short years since I said I would never even have children. I didn't know what to do when she cried. I was scared to bathe her or cut her nails! But I was filled with SO much love for her the very moment I laid eyes on her. I knew at that moment that God had given me a precious gift and I was supposed to protect and love her no matter what! I was so worried that I was going to mess up. I wanted to be the perfect parent to her! Well, after ten years of being a parent, I can say I have messed up! Lots of times! I will never be a perfect parent, but I strive everyday to be the best one I can be.

It's not always easy. My kids sometimes make it very hard for me to be patient and gentle and loving. But whoever said that parenting was easy, never had children of their own. My kids are little people, little individuals with ideas and feelings and attitudes all their own. I need to encourage their creativity and be their cheerleader at soccer games. I need to brag on them ALL the time. I don't want to put more on them than they can handle, but I want to push them to be all they can be. I need to be there to hold their hand when they cross the street and pick up the pieces of a newly broken heart. I know that they won't always come to me, but I will ALWAYS be here if they need me. I will show my children how to love by loving their dad with all my heart. They will know that no marriage is perfect, but it can be the most amazing thing they will ever know.

I am so blessed that God has entrusted me with three amazing children to look after. I will do my best to raise them to show kindness, consideration, tolerance, and most of all, to have a personal relationship with our Heavenly Father.

Loving feeling..

2008-01-22T13:12:00.000-08:00

You can hear on the streets of Hawaii, the screams from our backyard, as you come around the corner you can see Micah laying with a broken arm, because he disobeyed his parents instructions. We've told him over and over again not to lay on the small rope on the jungle gym in the back yard. We want to guard our children, direct our children and instsruct our children toward a peaceful life. But so many times it doesn't go into that direction.

God has made each of our children with their own special personality. strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes our children may challenge or stress us. Sometimes we may find it even hard to be compassionate to their mishaps when its situations where we've warned them and instructed them away from harm. So how do we encourage each child, even when we have these emotions?
The answer lies in......... PRAYER. When we turn to the Lord to help us, it is amazing to see what He will do. So many times when I just didn't feel that LOVING FEELING toward my children, the Lord has given me Grace and love toward them. While micahs arm was broken, I wanted to scolled him and tell him I've told you over and over again don't lay on the rope!. But instead I found myself mustering up compassion and the healing touch from mom.
We need to remember our children have feelings just like us, they take critizism and orders from adults all day. If we had to take all the stress, verbal, emotional and physical issues our children deal with on a daily basis we would be crushed. SO its our job as the loving parents to be that place of peace, contentment and not crush their spirits in our homes.
Lets perserve the specialness of each child, even in a situation where he/ she did disobey and has to deal with the consequenses of their actions. Let us choose our words carefully so that we enable them to maintain dignity and develop christlike behavior.

Raising A Daniel In Todays World...

2008-01-21T07:43:00.000-08:00

By: Colleen

Dan 1:8 "But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank; therefore he requested of the chief of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself" NKJ

I do not proclaim to be an expert in child rearing and I am not done yet either but I am the mother of older children and I am beginning to see some of the fruits of our parenting labors here. We have a son nearly 19 now (OK yes I was way to young and NO I do NOT look old enough to have a kid that age LOL) and the thing is, he is an amazing young man. Not the "I'm his mom I think he is great" type of amazing. I mean a mature, responsible, polite, agreeable, smart, funny, capable and able to think things out, but most of all GODLY young man. He is even nice to his little sisters!

It all started back in Hinesville, GA in 1995, early in the year, when Pastor Phillip Byler at Bethesda Church preached about purposing in your heart. At that point I had read about Daniel in my read through the Bible in a year process but had never really paid attention to that phrase......purposed in his heart.

What was purposing in your heart??? The short sweet to the point answer is making the decision on how you will do something before you are faced with the situation. Daniel chose, before faced with any trying circumstance, that he would always honor the Lord in all he did. With his body and his mind. In what he ate and how he acted. He would choose before being tempted to not give in to his human nature but to do things the Lords way.

Now, this was an amazing concept to me, revolutionary! My husband and I discussed it in our next phone call because, as luck would have it, he was in Korea for a year! He asked me to send the tape of the service and I did. Our letters went back and forth.....what if we could raise our kids to be this way? What if WE could raise Daniels?

We started with us. We began making decisions ahead of time for us. We chose at this time (we were newer believers, baby christians) to get out of debt and stay out; to steer clear of questionable movies and music; we made sure we did not swear anymore; we worked hard to steer away from gossip. Basically we cleaned up our own lives and decided that when faced with situations that were questionable we would already have a "plan."

When people would ask us to participate in parties (as often is a part of military life) we would say no if we knew it was going to be an enviroment that would compromise or tempt us. When people wanted us to go out with them to eat and we didn't have enough in the budget for dinner out, we would say no....well you get the picture.

NOW, we began with our children. This was not rocket science, it was a concept we could definitly explain and teach to young children. We look at our children andsee innocence but the Word tells us they are sinful and selfish. So we stopped saying they were naughty or bad and called the bad behavior what it was...SIN. We followed the charge in Deuteronomy to discuss the law of the Lord while we were walking and while we were eating and when we sat and when we worked.

See, early on children can learn to choose ahead of time the Lords way. They can decide before they get angry not to throw a fit. They can choose before they are facing it to not lie. These are the building blocks. As they grow older we begin discussing the other things ahead of time, cheating in class, bullying, talking back, sex, smoking, drugs, drinking. We discussed it before they were faced with it so they were prepared, they had a "plan." They already knew what to do. We discussed scenarios, how other kids would act, what they might say and why.

See in order for Daniel to purpose in his heart he had to know what Gods law was and thus what would be a violation of it and why it was wrong. I think as Christian parents we are pretty good at telling our kids what the "rules" of being a christian are but we don't tell them what the violations would be and why. We are afraid we will ruin their innocence or over expose or frighten them but when done in a Godly ,age appropriate way we are helping them by giving them tools to make a decision beforehand.

Now I am not advocating showing them drug paraphenalia or something crazy, I am saying that not discussing it or presenting the information to them in the right way does not mean they won't get it. So, either you as the parent have to prepare them, disciple them, or the world will do it for you.

Daniel knew the law, it was not a set of rules for him but obviously something living enough that he desired, even without parents or priest around for him to want to keep. He could have chosen to do whatever he pleased and no one would have been wiser or blamed him in his decision. He was carted off to Babylon for heavens sake!

So, who made the Lord law that alive and good to him do you think? My guess....his parents. So don't just teach it LIVE it. We never did revert to "mom and dad" movies, to this day we don't watch things the kids can't; we still don't swear and work very hard to avoid gossip. No credit cards, just a house payment and monthly expenses. It is our job to discipline our thought life and our mouth and our witness. See, in deciding to raise our Daniels we ended up changing ourselves as well.

My son is a Daniel, he stands out among the young men around him. He chose without our urging of any type to go before his youth group and make a purity vow; he chooses to never be alone with his girlfriend they are always with others or in public. He chooses to not defile his body with illegal substances and such. He chooses to lead in his youth group. He goes to church when we don't. He keeps himself set apart for the Lord. Is he perfect? Absolutely not but he is a young man pursuing God.

I can never thank God or Pastor Phil enough for revealing that word to us and letting us see that even in this day and age, with all the trials of a military family, it is still possible to raise Godly children.

Wrath Vs Peace

2008-01-10T22:43:00.000-08:00

A gentle answer turns away wrath,but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

How many times have our children found that stress button and continued to push it through out the day. We give them notice, " Moms had it up to HERE!" " Mom's Lossing it" " Time out for mommie" all those warnings and they continue to push.
I thought today as it seemed it was to be one of those push mommies buttons days, how am I to react, and how does my reactions really show them Christ.
So today as I sat in the Dr's office at Tripler. I began to really seek how to show Micah that love without really lashing out in wrath. As Micah sat there, really showing his 12 year old preteen puberty stage attitude. I calmly ( ok it was a little sharply) looked at him and said "How would christ respond Micah to your disobedience and disrespect?" A quick response of "he wouldn't make me be here," didn't give me the response I was really looking for. So I tried the other direction of ... Mom's wrath, telling him that the longer he gives issues, the longer it takes so sit down, be quite and obey me and the dr..
As I drove home frustrated and to be honest very upset. It was very quiet in the car, when micah got in the car the only thing out of my mouth was NOT A WORD.. So I perceeded to pray for a calm spirit and understanding heart. And then something happened that I wasn't expecting. Proverbs 15:1 came to mind, So I stewed over my reasonings of my justifying anger, I mean come on he disobeyed I have a right... OHHHH But do I? Do any of us have a RIGHT for anything? We have the privilage of where we live, what we have, where we go, how we get there and ACTIONS WE CHOOSE.
So I began to allow God to really change my heart on the way home, Micah thinking I lost my mind as I blasted my christian music, tears flowing and not saying a word. UNTIL We pulled up into the drive way. I turned the car off, turned toward Micah and said words that seem so hard some times... I"M SORRY. I began to tell micah he's actions were wrong, actions he and God need to deal with. AND actions that will cause consequences, but mom lashing out with wrath and harsh words was not what Christ would do, and I was sorry for not showing him christ in the situation.
Micah was wrong, Micah knows he was wrong, My front yard looks wonderful mowed from him being wrong =). But just because Micah chooses the path of disobedience doesn't give me a RIGHT to choose the path of wrath and anger. I had a chose just like Micah the road of correcting with Love, or correcting with anger. I chose the easier of the two which was anger.
To show our kids Christ, we must try to show them the love, patience and forgivness. We will fail, and when we do we must also be willing to allow our children to hear sorry from us. We must be willing to admit to them, we were wrong. Our kids are watching us to see the love of christ, what we show them about love is what they will understand about the love of christ.
SO as I work toward slow to wrath and anger, I pray my children can see how gentle words turns a heart toward you and harsh words turns others away.

Not so Different

2008-01-06T19:20:00.000-08:00

By: Chinookwife

This was written by me last year, about my 9 year old son elijah who is the most loving boy around. Has been given a truck load of issues and still sees the beauty in every day. Dealing with seizures, cystic fibrosis, autism and diabeties has not slowed him down. Just remember he is not so different.

The sounds of humming fill the air
And it lets me know my angel is here.
He humms and jumps, laughs and giggles
To get him to stop would just be plain fruggle

He doesn't learn like other kids
And he has a hard time understanding
But his love for everyone
Is always so pure and so outstanding

You ask so bluntly and so plainly
Why can't he speak clearly
In his eyes you are the one that speaks funny
And is different from his world that's always sunny.

You may look at him and see a difference
But when you look remember God sees perfection
He was made like all of us with special touches by our father
With my angel his touches just stands out more then others.

When you see him not responding don't just pass him off as a bother
Don't just stare at him or walk by him viewing him as a monster.
He didn't ask for what was given he doesn't even care
All he wants to know is that someone will always be there.

He deals with so much in his young life things that would make you shiver
Seizures and needles, feedings and treatments something you couldn't even imagine
He hugs you so tightly after his shots reminding you he is ok
But how brave would you be if you went through what he goes through every day

Help him when he needs it there is no disease for you to catch
Guide him when he's wrong even though he won't remember it.
Play with him a little and watch him become your friend
If you take the time to learn from him you may just begin to understand.

To you he may act different and just seem a little off
But to him the only differences
are you are the ones not taking shots.
So when you look at him and make your remarks
Remember he is just like you just needing a little more love.
And a little understanding too

Written by Katy Bean

Starting the New Year With Deployment

2008-01-03T17:17:00.000-08:00

By: Stephanie

So here I sit without my husband, the one who helps me keep my sanity. I'm trying to learn how to be Mommy and Daddy to my three children...all of which LOVE their daddy. They seem mad at me as if it were my fault that he got deployed.

This evening, I encouraged the kids to sit down and draw pictures for their dad. That seemed to help, because no one is fighting or yelling or doing anything remotely mean to one another or to me for that matter. I showed my four year old a map of where his daddy is going, and it seemed after that he was okay with dad being gone.

Tomorrow is their first day back to school after the holidays. They all seem excited about going back which is a plus. I think getting them back on their regular schedules will be very helpful. My kids are the type that need structure and consistency.

I think the key to helping kids through deployments is keeping things as "normal" as possible. My kids need to know that their dad and I love them and I'll be here for them no matter what..that is something that will NOT change.

Date Night With Your Child

2008-01-01T14:34:00.001-08:00

By: Patti

Do you ever try to do extra activities with your children? Children love the one on one attention. Since our children were little, my husband and I have always taken turns having "dates" with our kids.

A date could consist of going out to eat, to the movies, on a hike, to the library.... something special that you can do one on one with your child.

This evening, my husband is taking time out to paint with our youngest daughter. They are having such a good time, and you know what? I've found out that my husband is a pretty good painter!

Ringing in 2008

2008-01-01T14:13:00.000-08:00

By: Chinookwife

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Prov 22:6)

Raising children these days is one of the hardest jobs there is, but raising children while livng a military life style adds an extra zest to the job. Ringing in 2008 meant a whole lot more to me this year, then just ringing in a new year. My oldest is 17, a Senior in High School, and about to leave for college in less then a year. As I said Happy New year to all my guest at my house last night. I came around to my daughter who was standing with her boyfriend. Tears filled my eyes and all I could do was hold her. 2008 means letting go, it means having faith in the scripture I've always stood on for my children, it means watching my daughter spread her wings and fly on her own.
I'm finding out raising our children is hard,but I'm finding letting go is even harder.Being there to watch them fall and being there to pick them up. Letting them go to make their own mistakes, to deal with a world that isn't always caring, to grow into their own individual.
I've raised Grace in a stable, loving, God- fearing home. Standing on scripture, while teaching her, and during deployments; using my faith to show her God's love is perfect.
So 2008 brings the time, I stand in faith on Proverbs 22:6. Knowing she may turn from her teachings, Knowing she will make her mistakes, knowing she will fall and grow while she is learning. In the end I stand knowing she will not depart from her teachings, what she knows and what is right and wrong.
We as parents want to protect our children at all ages of their lives, but there comes a time when we have to let go and rely on how we've raised them. Our children, are a product of us, what we teach them, show them and how we love them should ultimatly show them christ love. One day all of you will be at a turning point of a new year, watching your babies leave your home and relying on God and scripture to hold on to. When it comes to that new year, will you be able to have that peace, that what you've taught your child will be something you don't want them to depart from?

Are we an example for our children?

2007-12-29T19:02:00.000-08:00

By: Chinookwife

When people say Military, I don't believe they totally understand the sacrifice that is made with that job. Our children are the unseen hero's behind our soldiers, just wanting time with their dad's, trying to understand the missed Birthday's, Christmas's and Easters. They are the ones worrying that every time dad leaves the house, will he return or will he be gone for a long time. The other day my 9 year old son, Elijah who is Autistic, was crying while my husband was getting ready for work. We tried to make out what he was crying about. As my husband was leaving out the door Elijah cried harder locked on to my husband's leg, begging him not to leave. Again my husband had to reassure Elijah, he was just going to the airfield not going to fight the bad guys.

Our children are caught in this cycle of emotions, that we as adults have a hard time handling, how do we explain it to our children who can't grasp the whole concept on goodbyes.

We as Christian Military mom's put our entire faith in God, that he will carry us through another deployment, another TDY, another field exercise. What we might not realize is our kids are watching, Watching how we react, how we handle stressful situations, how we handle loneliness and how we handle emotions. We are to be a Godly example to our children who are hurting from the separation, confused from the life of a military child. Directing them toward Christ when there is pain from our situations. Using our military lifestyle as a teaching tool for our children, showing them how to lay our problems at the feet of Jesus and having faith that he will carry them and see us through.

Our kids are watching, learning and soaking in how to get through life. Its what we show them. That will make them stronger, happier and content indivduals in any circumstance in life.

Holiday Seasons... Missing Dad

2007-12-27T07:26:00.000-08:00

By: Patti

This time last year, my husband was deployed to Iraq. The holiday season is not only hard on a spouse when their husband is deployed - but the children feel it too.

Ways to help your children stay connected during the holiday season include:

Writing cards or notes to dad
Drawing pictures for dad
Baking yummy snacks to send over to dad
Taking lots of pictures, send those to dad - he will love the surprise and the children normally love taking goofy pictures :)
Arts/Crafts to send dad
Let your child participate in sending care packages

Tip: Remember, things you like doing with your spouse to communicate with him while he is away - children like doing also! :)

We are past Christmas, and heading into the New Year. Maybe now would be a good time for your child to start writing down things that he/she would like to do with dad when he comes home in 2008.